Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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