it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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