I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
