I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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