Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
