I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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