we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize