Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
