guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
