Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
