I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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