Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize