Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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