The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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