I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
