She is in my trunk
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
