How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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