Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
