Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
