Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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