Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
