piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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