Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
