You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize