it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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