I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
