I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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