i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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