summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
