My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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