how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
