glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think people are normalizing furries
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize