can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
