brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
