U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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