well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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