She's JV to your varsity
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
