our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
