I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
