You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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