she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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