Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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