There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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