WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
