Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize