it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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