It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
