ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
