Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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