is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
