I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
