Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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