I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
