Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
