I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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