Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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