3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Randomize
